Father's Day
It is Father’s Day
Father’s Day is a bit of a Hallmark holiday, but I am glad a day has been set aside to recognize fathers. I am immeasurably grateful for my father, Harold J. Budd. He was perfect for me. He is the one who encouraged me to go into a profession. He had chosen law for me, and I chose ministry and that was all right with him.
It is true that he had trouble imagining my combining a career and marriage, but when I did, he was fully supportive and a wonderful grandfather. It was from him that I learned that it was all right to challenge authority because he let me challenge his. There were times when we had heated disagreements about things like dating and wearing lipstick and other such critical matters. I was the first child he raised and all boundaries needed negotiation. Through it all, he managed to respect me, love me, and was never condescending.
He loved my two sisters with equal ardor and concern though he was older when my youngest sister was born and she did not have as much time with him as my sister, who was two years younger did. He was especially attached to my brother who also came late in his life and who especially needed his encouragement. My father and mother held us all together as a family with great devotion.
I was proud of him as a man too and of his career. He was a law professor and a lawyer. I took two classes from him in college, and I can say without prejudice that he was the best teacher I ever had. He was constantly being voted as student’s favorite professor. Of course, he was not without his flaws, but they never got in the way of his humanity, his talents, and his deep love for his family.
He died just before he retired. He was much too young and had worked much too hard and taken too little care of himself. I treasure every moment I spent with him.
My husband, Thomas F. Kepler, was a good father too. He had three sons which is very different from having three daughters and a son. And being in another generation, he could be more hands-on than men of other generations. He did not have a wife who like my mother was a stay-at-home Mom. His own mother was a missionary’s wife who had help with home chores and parenting and while not an officially designated employed mother, had a volunteer career and did some teaching.
He loved his three sons very much and was a very proud father as they got older. and he was a devoted grandfather. He would remind me on Father’s Day that I was not his father. He was honored by his sons. So I will say no more except that I am thankful that he was the father of our sons.
Our three sons were amazing fathers. While they were still in grammar school, I became a feminist. Not only did they have an employed mother, but one who was a feminist. It was in their generation that the place of fathers in the family was open to change. Men could be active, very hands-on parents. Our sons were employed fathers who took parenting very seriously and did it very well. I am incredibly proud of them as men, as gifted in their fields, as caring human beings, and on this day, especially proud of them as fathers. And I appreciate the women who are mothers to their children.
I honor all those men who take parenting seriously and actively, for whom loving is at the very heart of their being.
And, since it is Sunday, I want to pay tribute to a Biblical father, Joseph, the father of Jesus. He does not get enough credit for being there during Jesus’ early years before he set out on his mission around the age of thirty. He taught him his trade. He shared his faith, and Joseph and Mary together must have passed on some ethical wisdom that contributed to the teacher, leader, Messiah he was.
So Happy Father’s Day to all fathers past or present who are loving fathers.